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Deflation hits sex dolls especially hard
Turkish authorities mounted a daring rescue, but it was too late: a blow-up doll had committed suicide by jumping into Black Sea. With no identification or known family, she was buried unceremoniously...
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‘So long, and thanks for all the fish hooks’
Everyone loves the king of the sea, and Beggar was the sea’s Henry VIII. But now the king is dead. (Long live the king!) Beggar, a dolphin famous for begging for food from boaters in Florida, has died...
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Poland invents a box to keep your boners in
As we wait with baited breath to find out who will bring about the American apocalypse over the next four years, let’s distract ourselves with news from Poland. Lindner, a Polish coffin company, has...
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Dead politicians tell no tales
Depending on who you ask, American voters elected the wrong people on Tuesday. But, we can all agree that it’s a mistake to elect zombies to higher office, which is exactly what voters in Alabama and...
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Einstein’s brain brings the boys to the yard
Only Einstein could explain Kelis’ lyrics. After Albert Einstein died, his brain was removed, photographed and dissected to discover if it had any properties that made it more likely to make Newton his...
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Take it from Snee: Where the NRA dares not tread
Guys, as you probably noticed on Facebook, there isn’t a Take it from Snee this week. That’s because I’m too busy working on this week’s issue of the Rick Snee Antidisestablishmentarian Militia. And,...
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Plan ahead to avoid holiday shipping delays
Airlines lost your heads? Next time, pack them into a carry-on bag that can fit either under your seat or in the overhead bin. If you’re still waiting for a Christmas present to arrive in the mail,...
View ArticleDead hate the living; cows hate the dead
Is there nothing that, ironically enough, cows find sacred? Shall their vandalism know no limits?
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All fun and games until somebody loses fingers
Two high school students lost a combined eight fingers and one thumb in a tug-of-war match, breaking the record previously set in 1904 with four fingers and four handlebar mustaches. A game of...
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Dead bears do Knut wear plaid
Even though he’s dead, Knut can still unwrap human bratwursts with his lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll’s eyes. Knut, the German polar bear, is back from the dead! His taxidermied corpse is now...
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